{"product_id":"all-panic-no-disco-opossum-tee-anxiety-shirt-teekop-copy","title":"Rage Consumes Me Cat Shirt – Retro Angry Cat Tee | Teekop","description":"\u003carticle class=\"product-description varsity-anxiety-vibe\"\u003e\u003cheader\u003e\n\u003ch1 class=\"product-title\"\u003eRage Consumes Me Cat Shirt – Retro Angry Cat Tee | Teekop\u003c\/h1\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eThe shirt says RAGE CONSUMES ME. The cat looks, at most, deeply unimpressed. That's the whole point.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eThis \u003cstrong\u003erage consumes me cat shirt\u003c\/strong\u003e does the explaining so you don't have to. Neutral face getting misread again? Social battery quietly at 12%? The cat already filed the warning — in vintage etching, under a retro sunburst, where everyone can see it. No conversation required. That was the goal.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eUnlike the soft-kitten version of this meme, ours went full retro: a hand-etched, gloriously done-with-everything cat that looks pulled off a 70s record sleeve.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/header\u003e\n\u003csection class=\"highlights\"\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003eProduct Highlights\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eThe Design:\u003c\/strong\u003e Classic vintage varsity arch typography framing the internet's favorite chaos mascot, thrift-store graphic style.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePremium Canvas:\u003c\/strong\u003e 100% Premium Heavyweight Cotton, pre-shrunk, boxy fit.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eMaster-Grade Print:\u003c\/strong\u003e High-definition DTG printing for long-lasting vibrancy.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eSignature Teekop Branding:\u003c\/strong\u003e Authentic logo placement for minimalist street credibility.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003c\/section\u003e\n\u003csection class=\"specifications\"\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003eSpecifications\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003ctable style=\"width: 100%; border-collapse: collapse; margin-top: 10px; border: 1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; border: 1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eMaterial\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; border: 1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e100% Heavyweight Cotton\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; border: 1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFit\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; border: 1px solid #ddd;\"\u003eOversized \/ Boxy Fit\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; border: 1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eVibe\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; border: 1px solid #ddd;\"\u003eIronic Varsity \/ Meme Culture\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\u003c\/section\u003e\n\u003cfooter class=\"directors-note\" style=\"margin-top: 25px; padding: 15px; border-left: 4px solid #333; background-color: #f9f9f9;\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eMade for introverts, deadpan enthusiasts, anyone fluent in cat, and people whose rage is more theoretical than practical. Also an extremely safe gift for the friend you'd describe as \"lovably menacing.\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eAdd the \u003cstrong\u003erage consumes me cat shirt\u003c\/strong\u003e to your cart. The cat will handle the rest.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDirector's Note:\u003c\/strong\u003e Mass production is dead, just like our attention spans. This artifact is sustainably made-to-order in Brighton, CO, minimizing waste while maximizing your street-ready aesthetic. Stop gatekeeping your neuroses and wear them like a badge of honor.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/footer\u003e\u003c\/article\u003e","brand":"TeeKop","offers":[{"title":"S","offer_id":48296872706289,"sku":null,"price":32.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M","offer_id":48296872739057,"sku":null,"price":32.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L","offer_id":48296872771825,"sku":null,"price":32.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL","offer_id":48296872804593,"sku":null,"price":32.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":48296872837361,"sku":null,"price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL","offer_id":48296872870129,"sku":null,"price":34.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4XL","offer_id":48296872902897,"sku":null,"price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"5XL","offer_id":48296872935665,"sku":null,"price":36.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0792\/1752\/4977\/files\/teekop11626gg5..png?v=1781174473","url":"https:\/\/teekop.com\/products\/all-panic-no-disco-opossum-tee-anxiety-shirt-teekop-copy","provider":"Teekop","version":"1.0","type":"link"}